Kroger Seltzer – Mandarin Orange

Well, the can is a swirling two-tone orange mess, consistent with the style of all flavored sparkling waters, but the ugly, inelegant Kroger logo is front and center—so it doesn’t matter if the rest of the can is lovely—it’s an ugly can. They had the chance to do something weird that would stand out—like, say, not matching the colors with the flavor—or doing an ironic generic version—or something so bold or unexpected I can’t describe it (duh). But seeing how Kroger bought my local grocery store and then ran it into the ground with greed and lack of vision—what do I expect. Well… there is still hope for the future—maybe they’ll fix up the store and make really cool seltzer cans. The Mandarin Orange flavor sparkling water is weak, as well, not much flavor there, but it does exist—you can call it “subtle” if you want. It’s fine.

No. 99 – 5.21.25

La Croix – Berry

Surprising! This one is actually quite tasty—well, they all are. What’s surprising about this one? I guess it’s that I have a bad attitude about a flavor called “Berry” because it’s not specific—I would really prefer the names of the berries in question. Is it mulberry? Elderberry? Why not just call it “Mixed Fruit?” (Another one of my (NOT) favorites.) Or Barry Fruitage? (Well, that IS one of my favorites (people*). I wonder if I search the internet for “berry”—what berry will it give me? Well… internet gives me a lot of ADS—unrelated to berries. The water is good—it tastes fruity—but I need a specific berry to let my imagination get involved! There are some berries that it’s (hopefully) not—including: ivy berries, yew berries, and Virginia Creepers—don’t eat those—poison! What are some of the weirder (but edible) ones it could be? Lingonberry, of course, if we got this water at IKEA. Or boysenberry—but now we’re on the pancake syrup Lazy Susan at IHOP. Or maybe huckleberry, gooseberry, salmonberry, caperberry, dewberry, or my favorite… bearberry! And everyone’s favorite… Saskatoon Berry!

*Barry Fruitage – a fictional character invented by me, not meant to represent any actual person—living, dead, or otherwise sensitive.

No. 98 – 5.15.25

Water Update – May 2025

The water reviews keep coming! I realize this Water page has come off the tracks in recent weeks, with the massive “Flavors Wanted” list (please refer to that list, in the future, on the Listz-O-Mania! page, for updates!) and the varieties with fruit juice and narcotics! (just kidding)—however, it’s time to RE-DEFINE what will be reviewed here. From now on, here, please find NO: energy drinks, added fruit juice, sugar, artificial sweeteners, wheat, THC, alcohol. DO FIND: water, still and sparkling, hop water, in combination, occasionally, with tea, and herbal essences. Because I’m so behind with the reviews, expect to see a lot. Once caught up, it will depend on when I find the new ones—but sparkling water companies keep going overboard with the new varieties. It’s not the worst time in history for people who have to abstain from alcohol, gluten, and sugar! Also, I’m going to start adding numbers to the reviews—ongoing. (I’m not going to go back and number the earlier ones—I’m too lazy!) But please feel free to scroll down through the old reviews—scroll and scroll—there’s nearly a hundred so far!

—Randy Russell 5.13.25

SOSA – The Soda – Water Kefir – Pink Guava

I bought one can of this on closeout at Bob’s! Had to try it—but what does it mean? Internet says it’s a “musical artist”—but my “acronym finder” (“smart” phone) gives me half a dozen acronym choices—which one? The can is a bit compact – 11.16 ounces – it’s from Hungary! It’s a very nice, well-printed can, light blue with three shades of orange sunrise. Looks like they’re trying to evoke the “Sixties” without going full-on Peter Max. “Naturally Crafted SOSA THE SODA Water Kefir Pink Guava Premium Quality.” An address in Gyula, Hungary, but distributed thru a place in Malibu. Also: “California Sunshine in a Tasty Beverage.” And: “Fermented for several days using organic water kefir grains and organic beet sugar. Delicious and refreshing with postbiotic benefits, non-GMO, vegan, gluten free, carbonated non-alcoholic, pasteurized.” A lot to put you at ease! —I’m not generally going to buy, try, or write about anything with sugar, but I was curious! The ingredients are on an added sticker (maybe over the ingredients in Hungarian?) “Water Kefir, Filtered Water, Pink Guava Puree, Beet Sugar, Lime Juice, Natural Flavors, Natural Mushroom Extract…” There’s even more, but I’m getting tired! It’s a pink, slightly carbonated, cloudy beverage, slightly sweet, some sediment, with a guava flavor, also some off-putting favor, not extremely gross or anything, but weird enough to not be totally pleasant. I hope it has some benefits!

Only later I saw either an AI or AA warning about the possibility of some alcohol (it IS fermented) and the potential of slippery slope-ness. Alcoholic Intelligence? Artificials Anonymous? At any rate, I felt myself slip into a state of distraction, initiated an online shopping spree, ordered every book about the hollow earth theory, and rushed a bottle of Myers’s Rum—which unfortunately now comes in a plastic bottle—but Amazon will only deliver liquor in plastic bottles. Still, felt like rock-bottom, barely half a step up from the plastic two-liter jug of Pissedmyself Vodka. Got an Uber just to take me across the street to the Pyramid Supper Club, dancing until dawn, doin’ the Mid-life Crisis, etc. Woke up in a cabin in the North Woods, shared with a dead body! Fortunately, the ground isn’t frozen yet, but how am I gonna explain… Okay, none of that is true. Some people will believe anything for a good story. I sampled the Water Kefir, and my observations? Gas.

5.11.25

Water Wish List

I have been compiling a list of flavors I have not yet seen (sometimes surprisingly, and sometimes, I get it) but I would like to see in the store soon! This is intended as an inspiration and a service to the sparking water industry, from one of their average, yet discerning, customers. I expect it to be taken seriously (for the most part) and I’m sure we’ll see these soon!

I realize some of these flavors (below) exist in combination with other flavors, or in more elaborate versions (such as “Raspberry Açai” and “Spiced Apple”—but I’m looking for the straight versions.

Naturally, some of these are out there and I just haven’t seen them yet. The reader is welcome to email me with information on where to find water I have missed, as well as with suggestions on water they’d like to see, but are so far absent from this list.

After this post goes up, I will include this list on the Listz-O-Mania! page—where it can be easily accessed. I will continue to add to it—plus, indicate when a water on this list is fulfilled!

—5.10.25

List of Sparkling Water Flavors We’d Like to See

A&W Draft Root Beer

Açai

Acorn

Aether

Anise

Apple

Bagaceira

Banana

Bay Rum

Birthday Cake

Blackcurrant

Black Walnut Taffy

Blue Moon

Bourbon

Boysenberry

Breadfruit

Bubblegum

Buttermilk

Butterscotch

Campari

Campfire

Cantaloupe

Cap’n Crunch

Celery

Chamomile

Chocolate

Choward’s Violet

Circus Peanuts

Citron

Coca-Cola

Coffee

Coriander

Cream Soda

Cucumber

Dandelion

Date

Dr. Pepper

Durian

Earl Grey

Elderberry

Ether

Fennel

Fig

Fisherman’s Friend

Garlic

Happy Days Mint

Hires Root Beer

Honey

Honeydew

Huckleberry

Iris

Irish Whiskey

Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7

Jicama

Kumquat

Licorice

Lilac Vegetal

Lobster Bisque

Locker Room

Loganberry

Lychee

Manhattan

Marshmallow

Martini

Mixed Fruit

Mr. PiBB

Mulberry

Muscatel

Muskmelon

Neapolitan

Nectarine

Night Train

Ocarina

Papaya

Pawpaw

Peanut Brittle

Peanut Butter

Peeps

Peppermint

Plantain

Pomelo

Prune

Pumpkin Pie

Pussywillow

Quince

Raisin

Rambutan

Red Velvet Cake

Sarsaparilla

Sassafras

Schnapps

Sloe Gin

Spearmint

Sriracha

Star Fruit

Sweet Potato

TaB

Tangelo

Thunderbird

Tokay

Triple Peach

Turmeric

Tutti Frutti

Ugli Fruit

Vanilla Custard

Vernors Ginger Ale

White Chocolate

Wint-O-Green

X-Factor

Yuzu

Zab’s Datil Pepper Hot Sauce

Culture Pop Soda – Ginger Lemon & Turmeric

It’s party time, so I’m trying another of these Culture Pops—the jury’s still out on whether I can include these (and not go to jail? Not lose my funding?). This one has 12% juice—less than the last one—and it’s also a lot better—it tastes way less like white grape juice—and that’s probably because the ginger is so dominant. Besides ginger and lemon, there’s coriander and turmeric—a good combination. It’s got a very pale fizzy look, nice, and it’s really refreshing. More ginger than anything—this is essentially the best ginger ale I’ve ever had! (Well, perhaps some of the ginger sparkling waters might be the best, since that’s what they are). Most ginger ale is too sweet, and that’s that—that’s all there is to it. This is more like it! The can is also cute—it’s flat, light blue, with black and yellow print, and yellow stylized lemons. I’d be all for this, all the way, except that it’s still a little sweet—from that fuckin’ white grape juice—so it might still not qualify for my purposes. But if I was going to drink a soft drink, soda, pop (a sweetened soft drink, that is), this would be the one!

5.9.25

Culture Pop Soda – Strawberry & Rhubarb

I’m not sure about these “Culture Pop Sodas”—I mean, whether or not I should include them with the water reviews. That’s because it’s not sparking water—it IS soda, and it does contain sugar, but in the form of fruit juice. But I bought it, drank it, so here goes… Anyway, it’s an interesting company, with some flavors that look good. The name (Culture Pop Soda) is weird, because soda and pop are the same thing—different names, regionally. (I grew up in Ohio, saying “pop,” but switched to “soda,” later.) And sometimes people say, “soda pop”—but I’ve never heard “pop soda”—which sounds redundant (and like some cartoon character with a bulbous nose). Anyway, it comes from Sudbury, Massachusetts. It contains live probiotics, so maybe there’s enough of that to be significantly good for you. This one also includes cardamom, so that’s cool. The juice part is 20%, and includes white grape, strawberry, and rhubarb. Frankly, when I taste it, I taste the white grape juice. It does, of course, taste like strawberry, and have the rhubarb tang, at least slightly. But I’m not crazy about the grape juice part—as much as I like grapes, I’m not crazy about grape juice, and particularly white grape juice—that is, I’d never choose to drink it. I’m an adult.

5.8.25

Bubly – limebubly

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Shall I compare thee to a citrus fruit? Sorry, I’m about all out of ways to describe another boring LIME flavored water! New flavors, please! The can is a dark green, but not as dark as a typical lime—and limes aren’t metallic. Is “limebubly” this particular flavor, or do they put the “bubbly” suffix on all their flavors? You know what? I’m not gonna look it up—I’m gonna assume the flavor is called “limebubly” (lowercase)—I mean, since they went to the trouble to TRADEMARK it! Give me a break—Deepockets PepsiCo! Anyway, this would be a good one to drink this time (I wrote this in March) of year, in a bar (or if you’re in Milwaukee, outside, which is an open-air bar) due to St. Patrick’s Day—when you don’t want to get exposed as a teetotaler! They are nuts about it here. I’m sure there are many fine Irish people in Milwaukee, but not nearly as many as who enjoy day-drinking 24/7/52/365 etc. The green shirts (and underdressed midday boozers wearing them) came out on March 2nd —a whole week BEFORE the St. Patrick’s Parade, which is then over a week before actual St. Patrick’s Day. You’d think, by the day itself, everyone would be a little salty on it—but no. Not here. They have stamina—and that’s what it takes.

5.6.25

365 – Grapefruit

I’m not sure if I should call this “365 Whole Foods Market – Grapefruit Sparkling Water”—or, the shorter version. I’ll go with shorter, since we already know “365” is like Whole Foods generic brand—not that that’s a bad thing—as much as groceries cost these days. I swear, La Croix has like doubled in price—and why? Just because everything else has gone up? That’s probably why the majority of products raise their prices—just to keep up with everyone else. It’s sick. Anyway, this one is great in its underwhelming-ness—it’s barely grapefruity at all. And sometimes with sparkling water—that’s what I want. The less flavor, sometimes, it seems, the more refreshing it is. This one is good, it’s fine. The can is really pretty nice—generic looking, but stylish—silver near the top and bottom, almost like the “label” doesn’t quite fit—though it’s not a label, it’s printed, of course. And that part is white with simple black lettering. And then there are some overlapping, colored, geometric shapes meant to represent the grapefruit. Big yellow circles, deep pink half-circles, and green leaf shapes, as well as tiny silver and yellow circles (bubbles). The colors deepen where they overlap. Really, this can should have won some kind of design award. No affiliation with Microsoft—3+6+5=14, which is the age at which I first smoked weed—so, yeah… groovy.

5.1.25

La Croix – Orange

Can you think of a more pedestrian sparkling water than La Croix Orange? I’m picking on La Croix because it’s the Starbucks of water. Ubiquitous, as is the flavor, orange. Everyone (but me) has orange juice in their fridge. Orange. The color. The flavor. The fruit. Boring. Weirdly, orange soda (aka soda pop) isn’t so common—the big one was Orange Crush—but that was back… I don’t know when it came out, but when I was growing up, we always had Orange Crush. I preferred Grape Crush. Which gets me thinking—Coca-Cola is still the most common soft drink (though, I suppose it’s been dethroned by Diet Coke, due to the space aliens among us). But anyway, here’s an amazing idea for a sparkling water I haven’t yet seen (and possibly hasn’t been yet invented)—Cola flavored sparkling water. That would be weird, right? And I think way popular. Or maybe too weird. *(Note: I wrote that on December 13, 2023, when I started this review! That’s how far behind I am in posting these! And, since… I have finally found cola flavored water—just a couple of weeks ago—and still have some in my fridge. Made by, who else, La Croix. It’s called either “NiCola” or “la Cola”—the can is confusing! Well, I’ll get to it eventually.) As far as this La Croix Orange? They nailed the orange flavor, I’ve got to say, so it’s refreshing and delicious! *(Note: I’ve sold out: La Croix sent a gratis 12-pack over here to HQ—accompanied by a scantily dressed young woman—along with a muscular hunk stripper young man in a tux—along with a chicken. Apparently, from the nature of my reviews, they couldn’t guess my sexual preference. At any rate, this business is finally paying off! I kept the chicken, a hen. I need the eggs.

4.23.25

Nixie – Watermelon Mint

Wins best can award! Metallic pink and green w/ flat white print highlighted with silver. Very dark green mint leaves hanging from top, and realistic looking watermelon slices with dark green and white rind, dark red flesh—kind of chaotic until you look at it. The Nixie logo is kind of weird—I guess retro—you don’t see logos like this. The flavor doesn’t knock me out like the can—it’s immediately a bit off-putting because it’s overly floral—kind of cloying. Is either watermelon or mint floral? I guess mint is, for sure. Watermelon is more earthy, right? I might not guess the flavors, blindfolded—certainly not the mint part. But then, that’s an interesting flavor combination—sounds like the makings for a cocktail. Is there any cocktail that uses watermelon as an ingredient? I mean, I know there is… but a common one? How about this: A lot of ice and fresh watermelon chunks in a big glass/ mint crushed on the bottom/ fill half with bourbon/ the other half with THIS WATER. Mint garnish. We could have a party to introduce the cocktail—and name it—something like: Mr. Mint-Jestyk Cocktail. The winner could go on TV, maybe throw out a pitch at a baseball game, and sing the National Anthem at a motocross event. OR… maybe you could just drink the water as is… on the way to your AA meeting.

4.17.25

Kroger Seltzer – Blackberry Citrus

I refuse to call it “seltzer water” because that’s redundant—perhaps their entire product is—the can sure looks like they’ve jumped (awkwardly) on the bandwagon. But just because Kroger owns and operates my absolutely dismal local grocery store, doesn’t mean I should be hard on their sparkling water division—after all, the more the better. This Blackberry Citrus is surprisingly good, I have to say, a good combination. Then, for no good reason, I was inspired to invent a new cocktail (based in some part on the success of “The Black Cow” cocktail—see: the Polar Black Cherry review). So… I happened to make a surplus of espresso yesterday, so I put an extra demitasse in the freezer and ended up with a nice little espresso ice cube. I merely poured a can of this Blackberry Citrus over it in a tall glass, and it foamed up nicely and turned very faint yellow. Then, as the espresso cube slowly melted, it made the drink increasingly yellow-brown and increasingly tasty. A cocktail that changes over the course of your drinking it! And surprisingly delicious, too. Another fine invention, which I named the: “Berry Black Cocktail.” Not NSFW, more or less!

4.8.25

La Croix – Passionfruit

Have I ever eaten the passionfruit? I must have, but I can’t remember, so even if I did, it doesn’t count. I would not even be able to identify one. I looked them up on the ol’ ’ternet—they look pretty cool—you cut them open, eat the juicy seeds. They come in several colors. The fruit is sweet—and it’s a good name. I can understand how they’d want to make a favored water just for the name alone. The flavor isn’t bad—I guess I’d say it tastes “tropical.” Tropical fruit flavored sparking water—a good thing. Passionfruit sparkling water—seems like it might be hot item. I’m not terribly excited about it, though. Why? I suppose since I don’t really know what passionfruit tastes like, I can’t translate that to the flavor of this water. There is no recognition factor, no nostalgia factor, no memory factor. For someone who grew up eating passionfruit—assuming they nailed the flavor—it might be a different story.

3.20.25

PurAqua Belle Vie Sparkling Water – Strawberry

Entirely too long and fancy of a name, when they could just have said “Aldi”—since this is the Aldi grocery store version of flavored sparkling water. “PurAqua” sounds like they stole it from a water filtration company and “Belle Vie” means some version of “the good life”—which is pretty funny considering what it is. On the other hand, why not. There seems to be a mini trend going here about not poisoning yourself, or at least cutting down on the poison. People will still naturally gravitate to poison. The strawberry flavor is good—it would be a shame to mix it up with some kind of liquor—don’t know what goes with sparkling strawberry—I suppose rum. Or, like me, you can just drink it straight. The can is silver with red lettering, a couple of strawberries, and a whole lot of what looks like red and pink paint splotches. It’s kind of nutty. Good job, Aldi.

3.6.25

Waterloo – Peach

Ahhhh… Peach. There’s a complicated one. It’s kind of like that friend who is not a friend. Or is that overstating it? As far as fruit goes, a ripe peach off a peach tree—there is nothing better (we had a peach tree in our back yard, when I was kid). It’s hard to get them at the right degree of ripeness though—they go from rock-hard to mushy… real fast. That’s part of the charm, though. I’m wondering to what degree peaches have evolved… I don’t really know. I’m not going to research peaches at this point. Remember Peaches record stores? They could make a comeback. Who’s got the keys? Anyway, the problem with peach is that there are some heinous artificial peach flavors out there, helping to define some heinous products—peach flavored tea, tobacco, “juice-drink,” and the worst—peach schnapps—which means, some particularly heinous cocktails. And now… sparkling water. The thing is, it’s not that bad. For one thing, they went easy on the flavor. Maybe it’s just a higher quality flavor, I don’t know, but either way, it’s fairly subtle. The other thing is, not being sweet actually helps. It’s kind of the contradiction with these sparkling waters. You remember that saying? “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.” Apparently, that was back before they made medicine sweet—before they put sugar in everything. It must have seemed pretty radical to make a soft drink with flavor but no sweetener whatsoever. But, I have to say, genius—is any single inventor credited? I think it was one of those things that originated simultaneously across a variety of test kitchens in Spain, France, Italy, Soho, my mom’s, etc.

2.5.25

Aura Bora – Lavender Cucumber

Here’s a new one, at least to me—saw four flavors at the store—Glorioso’s—I don’t shop there all the time, but when I do, I check out their cooler because they will often have some water I haven’t seen. I chose this one—sounded like a good combo, lavender flower extract, and natural cucumber flavor—and it is! It’s excellent—really a nice balance of those flavors, and plenty of it—but not too much, still subtle. Very good. The can is cute, one of those tall 12-ounce ones—it’s a pretty, pale lavender color, and there’s an elaborate cartoon scene on it, a campground, stream, and waterfall, and there is a hairy creature rowing a hollowed-out cucumber canoe. Should I know what this creature is? It’s pale orange, with six white triangles on its chest, and long claws—maybe a sasquatch? Or could it be their Aura Bora mascot? Since this is the first I’ve heard of this water, from San Francisco, and it’s excellent, I’ve got to check their website—good website! The main page is busy, but also kind of old-fashioned (for a website—perhaps “retro?”). It’s all cartoon—and every few seconds a different flavor pops into a little window, and with each one, the whole page changes! Or, if you don’t want to watch the show you can scroll down—let’s see, how many flavors currently on there? About 18—and I’m guessing they do seasonal and special edition flavors. I click on my choice, and it informs me that my cartoon creature is indeed a sloth! A sloth named Haiku. Does each flavor combo have a mascot? We’ll see! I’m hoping I can find more of these in town.

1.18.25

Klarbrunn – Bucky’s Cherry Berry

I vowed not to buy any more cherry flavored water—just because I’m not into cherry, as a flavor, and never have been. (Though… since I discovered that it mixes well with cold espresso to make a fine cocktail, I’ve come around, a bit.) But I bought this one because I was intrigued—why is it called Bucky’s? Also, is it cherry mixed with berry? And if so, which berry? (Cherry is not a berry—it’s a stone fruit—everyone knows that.) Let me taste it again—either it’s berry only in name, or the cherry overwhelms the berry. It just tastes like cherry. The Bucky part is because some of the proceeds go to some charitable cause, thanks to U. of Wisconsin and Klarbrunn (they are neighbors). So that’s nice, and it explains the weird illustration of the Wisconsin Badger mascot on the can—the cutest of all college sports mascots. Why is he called Bucky? His full name is Buckingham Ulysses Badger—thus “Bucky.” Personally, I would have gone with a different, perhaps “cuter” name. Ideas? Benny Badger. That’s good—not Bobby or Billy, though. How about Bootsy Badger? Or maybe Rodger Badger, or Beauford, or Glenn.

1.9.25

Waterloo – Spiced Apple

Well, I’ve got to admit, this one is weird. You can’t fault them for going for it. It’s wacky. I’m not sure it tastes that much like apple—well, I suppose so. Does anyone make just plain apple? They should. Before there were all these nutso unsweetened waters, that one Mexican soda, Sidral, was one of my favorites—it’s apple soda, and comes in a glass bottle with an apple design—but the best thing is it’s not overly sweet (like, say, Jarritos)—very delicious. And… apple! Where is the apple water? Well, here. But it’s “Spiced” apple—I’m guessing this is a seasonal flavor—and the season is autumn. It also got me thinking, why all the spiced bullshit in fall? I know it goes along with “holiday” foods—specifically pumpkin pie—but aren’t those spices good all year around? But then I told myself, just shut up and enjoy the fact that some things are still seasonal. That fact that there are at least a few things you don’t do all year around definitely adds to their charm. I’m not sure what all the spices are, but I think I taste cinnamon (which is the major spice of all the “holiday” spices). But maybe something else, too, but I don’t know—I suppose some ginger would make sense. What it kind of tastes like, to me, is cooked, even burnt, apple—or burnt sugar, plus apple. This initially struck me as gross, but I’ve got to admit, through the process of tasting one can of it, it’s growing on me.

12.12.24

Noon Whistle – Hop Water

Excellent 16 ounce can—it’s deep blue with huge, stylized, bright metallic green hop leaves—very weird looking—and the “Hop Water” in the same green with the scary, rotting, dripping, monster font. This comes from the Noon Whistle Brewing Company—the can says Lombard and Naperville, Illinois, which are western suburbs of Chicago. The hop flavor is quite bold—not like any I’ve yet tasted—I mean, it tastes exactly like hops, and hop water, but different, too. Am I becoming a connoisseur of hops? Well, not yet. I don’t have the vocabulary to really describe it—among the hop waters—and I certainly can’t compare it, rank it, or judge it—except to say, yes, it is delicious. Maybe bolder in flavor and a little more bitter than some others I’ve had. Not real subtle—a good amount of personality. I’ll buy this one again, for sure. I’m finally trying it at the beginning of October (2023!), which seems appropriate for a harvest-time drink—and doubly appropriate for the spooky season with the spooky-looking can label. I don’t have trick or treaters coming to my place, since I’m in an apartment building—but if I did, I’d be uncomfortable giving the kids candy, since I don’t eat it myself. Apples are out. I wonder if it would be okay to give kids cans of sparkling water—I don’t see why not. So, it’s fun to imagine getting a case of this stuff and giving it out to kids on Halloween—I wonder if they’d hate it. I bet it’d be okay with Charlie Brown!

11.27.24

Waterloo – Raspberry Nectarine

Nicely understated flavor—especially good restraint, considering the flavors at hand. It could easily be too perfumy, but it’s not—it’s fine. While I’m not crazy about how these sparkling waters pair raspberry with everything—at least Waterloo doesn’t spell it with a “z.” And in this case, maybe it’s good not to attempt a straight nectarine water because nectarines are a little weird. I mean, they’re good, of course, but a Nectarine water could be weird. Though I’d like to try it. The can is attractive, as all Waterloo ones are, with that Old-West font, but there’s something about this one—the fruit illustrations—that strikes me as odd. There’s a slice of nectarine, leaning back, and it front of it, two red raspberries, seemingly attached. If you use your imagination, you could picture the raspberries as eyes and the nectarine as a nose. Or… something more sexual might come to mind. Maybe it’s the way the nectarine is sliced, or the holes in the raspberries—I don’t know. I’m not saying everyone is going to see this particular fruit depiction and think “sex”—but I’d be surprised if it hasn’t crossed some people’s minds.

11.21.24