Tuesday 6 September 2016

It is the hottest day of the summer, it feels like—it's 90 degrees in my apartment—and humid—there is a breeze outside at least. I'm at the Bollywood Grill. I wish it was a little more over-AC'd in here—but no—glad it isn't—too much AC is worse than too little—it's pretty okay. I texted Brent and Doug about coming here, but no answer. Kind of a crappy morning for me—just way too hot when I woke up. Actually, reading was nice, but not able to work on the computer at all. Eating very spicy food on a very hot day makes some sense to me—somehow. But probably over-eating doesn't. But it's hard not to, here, because there is so much that's delicious. I've been doing better, though—two plates and dessert—actually, that's a lot.

The thing that's causing me the most anxiety today is not my REX work, or stuff with Chris (no payment yet), or IRS (not resolved yet) or job hunting (haven't started yet), but rather trying to do this project for Sara C. about Lyndon Sculpture Garden—a kind of interpretive guide—drawing thing—which I had (what I thought) (was) a good idea for—but as I try to draw it (kind of an impressionistic map based on the satellite photos, and then later a visit)—not happy with it—attempts to draw (and it occurs to me, if I went out there, I might have a better idea, or an inspiration how to draw it)—but anyway—she asked me way back like in April—and I still haven't made any progress—so it's kind of being rude of me—adding to my anxiety—really, it should just be no big deal, and I should say, sorry, I can't come up with anything. But I hate to fail. I also haven't done any drawings for my possible new zine. It occurs to me—lately—what I need are some big life changes... But what, exactly? I don't know...

Oh, just remembered some really weird, bizarre, and extensive dreams, or dream—it seemed very significant... but it's now all faded away.