I'm at Maxfield's Pancake House on a Sunday—it's a pretty weird morning out there—really nice—great to get out, but like 98% humidity and fog. It's early, I got here at 9am. Anyway, a great morning for a bike ride, except for moisture on my glasses—but it's crazy—there's like no one out—well, I guess there are people here, as usual (all drove).
Last week was a pretty crazy week in all—maybe one of the most fucked up in awhile—not so bad—and I'm dealing with stuff okay—first of all—pretty much isolated—though I met with Brent at Glorioso's on Monday or so—but otherwise didn't go out to eat at all or talk with anyone at all except the desk clerks at the hotel. I'm increasingly isolated—I feel like Travis Bickle, but I have a better diet. Then two days in a row I went for walks and was constantly accosted by crazy people—well, the first day I walked to the lake, and first a guy panhandling—but like a nice guy. Panhandling, for it to exist, I was thinking, depends on a certain ratio of panhandlers to pedestrians—and a certain amount of good will—I mean, some people it's going to freak out—and some people don't ever walk more than a few steps from their car. I guess if I'm walking for an hour and a half and come across three people asking for money, it's no big deal. Except the second guy was all fucked up—so that was more disturbing—but, whatever. But then the third guy I came across was not asking for money or anything. He was just swearing at me—I couldn't even understand what he was saying—just screaming. Anyway, you have days like that, where walking seems like not a great option. But then the next day, I walked to the library and back—about an hour—and in that time, there were three people screaming at me—in different places. So I don't know what's up with that. It seems like things don't feel too great lately—but these things go through phases. Then—same day, I think—I talked to Chris on the phone (only other person I talked to all week) and he said pretty much the REX app was going under and he was out of money—I talked to him about it a bit—and then if I should look for a job, and he said yes (at least I confirmed using him as a reference, etc.)—so that was kind of upsetting, because it's like losing your job (it is!) But also, in a way, a relief, because I've been not crazy about this REX work lately—not making enough money, anyway—and thinking I should try to make a change. Find a job—so at least this is something that forces the issue—and will get me motivated to make some changes—and soon—like, now.
Oh, yeah, I had two migraines last week—which the new(ish) migraine pills took care of—so it's important to me to keep my health insurance!