The Whiskey Ginger Supply Co. – Cedarwood Premium Bar Soap

“Spock Brew”

I feel like a broken record, but I’m always amazed with how many words they fit on soap packaging, as if in a longshot to appeal to everyone. This one came in a billiard room green metal box proclaiming the following on its lid: The Whiskey Ginger Supply Co. Premium Bar Soap London Hotel Marion Avondale 1710 Cedarwood Scratch & Sniff. What nonsense! Is there even a Hotel Marion in London? And 1710 Avondale? Why not just throw in Middlemist Red Camellia of Mal Reese and the Nocturnal Spice on Alderaan with Civet Glands, Caledonian Nightjar Milk and Vulcan Juice. I’m just being silly, to make a point—as in, am I really any more silly than they are? The last part, rather unfortunate, “Scratch & Sniff” in a little oval sticker which will never cleanly peel off—I suppose so you can sample the contents of the faux-expensive sepulchre before laying out the big bucks at TJ Maxx. You end up collecting these petite metal boxes—soap, tea, condoms—which don’t end up having any re-use—maybe they should sell pets, like small rodents and goldfish—at TJ Maxx—like in the old days at Woolworths. Then at least you’d have a use for your little coffin collection. I’m stalling—can’t really evoke the mild fragrance—I guess it’s Cedarwood, as far as I can tell. Too pleasant—and not quite Michael O’Hara—definitely more Spock than Mr. Scott.

Soap Review No. 223