Dr. Squatch – Fresh Falls

“Sonic Blunger”

I bought a variety three-pack of Dr. Squatch—so, more to come. All equally masculine sounding. It says right on the box: “Men’s Natural Soap”—so maybe they don’t sell it to women? Or you have to sneak it through the self-check? A little pricy, but I snatched it up because I’d never heard of it, and the ingredients are simple and sound good—and indeed, my skin is fine with it. Also, I liked the box, the goofy name, and the funny cartoon drawing. I tried looking at their fancy-pants website, but there was too much bullshit jumping around, so I abandoned the quest. I suppose there are a few products that are, by definition, gender-specific, but you wouldn’t claim that a book, or a movie, or music, or some food was only for men, or women, but not both—so why would you do that with soap? Is there something I don’t know about? Or is it just the fragrance that’s considered masculine? I suppose “Fresh Falls” implies nature, maybe camping, but when I opened the box, I got a whiff of vacuum cleaner salesman. It quickly mellowed out, however, into a lovely, complex, and not overly “manly” scent. The Dr. Squatch cartoon is a hairy dude, smoking a pipe, which is hilarious. I’m guessing he’s a mythical creature, so I looked up “Squatch” and was surprised to see that he was the mascot of the Seattle SuperSonics—and… that team no longer exists! But seeing how basketball is no longer on TV, I’m not surprised I missed that news. Short for Sasquatch, also known as Bigfoot, Abominable Snowman, Yeti, Fouke Monster, Momo, Se’sxac, Skunk Ape, Sackacrotch, Wood Booger, Ohio Grassman (ha, I like that one)… and they just go on and on. A seemingly endless roster of names for something that doesn’t even exist!

Soap Review No. 221