September 23, 1982

Well, here I am, writing in my journal again. I haven’t written in a while. What started me again is what a professor said in my first class. Classes started yesterday. I am taking 5 photography classes. Yesterday I had 4, and when I got home, I fell asleep on the couch. Pretty tired. At least I woke up early, though, to write this.

In my first class, script writing, the prof talked about writing and being a writer. He talked about how one should write every day and keep a journal. Hell, I play guitar every day! What I want to be, really, is a writer, so I should be fanatical about it, why not? He talked about writing when you get up in the morning, because you are close to your subconscious. I know this, but I like to write (poetry) right before I sleep, because my subconscious takes over and it is real weird. In the morning it is not so great because I am so alert immediately. I wake up and I am on my feet.

Anyway, it is neat that a photography class inspired me to write more. (If I actually do. I should.) All the classes are pretty exciting.

I was writing for quite a while and stopped. I was mostly writing about my relationship with Nancy. It got to be ridiculous, or too painful, or something. It was like falling in and out of love constantly, and really draining. We are “just friends” now.

We had some awful drinking experiences lately, which I don’t want to go into. I have been drinking too much myself, anyway. We decided separately and (but) at the same time to cut way down and give up Crazy Mamas. It is really negative and destructive, I think. I hope Nancy wants to stick to it. I have so much fun with her without drinking. Who needs it? I want to get heavily into movies again!

After a full day of classes, yesterday, I have to go to work today (Thursday) and then to a 3 p.m. class. I am working at the Lerner store at Northland Mall, now. I worked for a couple of weeks at the end of August and was fired. See, I went to Dan and Lori’s wedding on Saturday the 28th of August, and then Nancy drove up and on Sunday we went to Michigan. We drove the Honda, and went to this resort area, Sister Lakes, where Nancy had gone with her family for years (’til she was 21). It was great. She was in such a great mood, it was so nostalgic for her. We went out to eat at restaurants two nights, and stayed two nights in my tent in an empty, small campground that was like someone’s backyard. We even went for a (brief) midnight swim. We got along great and the atmosphere and feeling of the place was wonderful. It was the best time I had all summer, and made all the pain of the summer worthwhile.

It was even worth getting fired, which I found that I did when I went to work on Wednesday. We had a misunderstanding. My boss thought I would be in Monday, though I told her I probably wouldn’t be. So I called long-distance on Tuesday, but too late. They had hired someone Tuesday morning. That’s what I get for lying. (I said the car broke down.) Well, like I said, it was worth it. Anyway, after a week, they called me in anyway because the new guy burst an appendix. I don’t know if he’ll be back, but at least I’ve been working. I need the money.

Well, with school starting, I’ve got money problems (though it would be impossible, of course, without generous money from my great parents, paying for my tuition, and rent and all). There’s photography classes require a lot of $. So, I’ve got money problems. Time problems are even worse. 17 hours is a lot, sure, but with 5 classes it is worse, and this is some time-consuming stuff. Plus, I want to write, play guitar, do a magazine, work on a novel, do poems, keep up letters, write for a magazine (Night Seen, I’ll talk about later), work, go out with Nancy, and other friends, see millions of movies, and still sleep (and read, too, God!). So where do I get the time? At least I’ll be busy. So, I also have problems with drinking, and Nancy drinking, and being in love with her and her being engaged, just being friends. Hell, I can handle it, but it will be a challenge I’ll have to make a schedule of my TIME. Enough for now.