Saturday 21 May 2016

I'm at Ma Fischer's, May 21, Jeff's birthday—it's nice out, finally—it was kind of cold the whole time I was cat-sitting—I mean, it was nice, because for me 50s is nice—for me, 30s is nice. But it's like 70, not windy, nice for walking—the blossoms are out and it smells good. Soon it will be just HOT—but I haven't even put on shorts yet this spring...

I haven't been to Ma Fischer's in a while—it's exactly the same. That's a good thing about it. It's dead in here—I guess maybe 9AM is early for a Saturday—I bet it's twice as full by the time I leave. There is a handwritten sign on the wall that says, “Shakes $5.50.” It's funny, because I saw the day a waitress put that sign up—it's a handwritten sign—and the owner, at that time, was determining the price—and I thought, no shakes on the menu? I keep forgetting to check the menu—it's kind of a mystery.

I was watching this documentary on Nina Simone (What Happened, Miss Simone?) last night—and she said something like, to her, freedom would be being free of fear—and I thought, yeah—everyone lives with some fear—it's much worse if it's this real fear of someone trying to kill you, your neighbors, the racist majority society, your husband, or whatever. For me that doesn't have to be an immediate concern—which is something I should be eternally grateful for—but then I replace that fear with another and another. Maybe everyone does this. Solve one problem and replace it with another. So last winter my major fear was health stuff because of having a colonoscopy, so I was all afraid of that, then the dentist—so that stuff got resolved (temporarily) and then the fear of no job, no money, homelessness, set in. If I could solve that (win the lottery) then fear of death and the ?afterlife would take over. It's always going to be something—so why can't I just eliminate it all? Because fear doesn't help!

I got a book from the library about the Japanese art of decluttering (by Marie Kondo) and I'm really trying for a big cleanup now. It's going to take some work—but it will help! And I'm working on my website—it's a little difficult, but possible—and I'm trying to get rid of my TV (via Craigslist). I also just got a new idea for warmer weather—since it takes me awhile to really get going in the morning—maybe every day I'll go out early for a short walk—to the park, whatever. Then later take a longer walk or bike ride. (note: I put a star by this last part, and some arrows, and a yellow highlighted note that says “New Way.”)