Tuesday 12 April 2016

I'm at The Plaza Cafe for breakfast on a sunny 30 degree day in the middle of April, too cold to ride my bike yet. Plus I've been too busy! A lot of REX work and stuff for Chris—not making me too happy because of the slippery nature of my expectations, his expectations, etc.—not well defined. I've gotten over some of my main anxieties—got colonoscopy, went to new dentist, and got new health insurance—and still I feel unhappy—so now I've got to realize it's me, not this external bullshit. So I've got to try to adjust how I think without psych drugs or therapy, if possible! I've got a few more problems to solve—but they should be kind of fun if I let them be—like: new website. Then I've got to try to make something every day—chapter, collage, monkey, journal entry, draw!

As far as the confusing evolution of my notebook journals goes—I'm using various notebooks for my new novel—K2—and in each of these there is also a continuing journal (always with the date!) (It's so I don't have to carry around multiple notebooks!)

Anyway, this time three years ago I had just moved away from New York—to Cleveland—I think—2013—yeah—and I think it was this week—like second week in April when I moved—packed on a weekend after I quit my job (I gave them an extra week in April to train the new dude)—then drove on a Monday—I think—got to Jeff Curtis' house not too late—unpacked—took back car next a.m.—then went to breakfast—maybe at the Coffee Pot, on Madison—and started exploring the neighborhood. It was really a sad time, of course. (But then not even close to as sad as later, when Cindy died, a year and a half ago, or so—which I have not gotten over—I guess I never will...) Anyway, that was a pretty exciting time, too, exploring a new place—Lakewood. A drag looking for jobs and temp places—but great fun discovering bike trails and restaurants. Thinking about Lakewood makes me very nostalgic now—and I kind of realize I should move again—but maybe the time isn't right—right now—and hopefully I'll get a chance to move again, some day.

I walked over by the park overlooking the lake this morning, and felt different just doing that—I should do stuff out of the ordinary every day—I decided—and get out early. Even briefly, when possible—especially in spring—and exercise more, of course, and go to the lake more—go to that amazing Juneau Park—3 blocks away, a.m. & p.m.!