Waterloo – Grape
/I admit to having a particular fondness for grape, as a flavor, even though grapes, as a fruit, can be all-over-the-place—from possibly the worst thing in a fruit salad, to one of the most evocative things you can put in your mouth. I read, recently, someone trying to explain why there is no grape ice cream, but it frankly made no sense to me. I think it’s just not that popular. As far as ice cream goes, though, when I was a kid, my very favorite flavor at Baskin-Robbins was Grape Ice. As far as soda pop, I always felt that Orange Crush was just “so-so,” but Grape Crush was awesome, up there with the best. When I did, unfortunately, drink Kool-Aid, as a kid, my favorite, by far, was grape. My favorite “Funny Face” (drink mix) character was Goofy Grape.
My very favorite scene in the movie, The French Connection (1971), is when Gene Hackman stops at a vendor in the subway while following a guy, and trying not to be noticed, says, “Get a grape drink.” Which is hilarious and makes him stand out like a man wearing a raincoat at a children’s playground on a sunny day. Grape juice, however, is not good, as the flavor cannot ever come close to matching the flavor of an actual, fresh grape. It’s always both too tart and too sweet. But anyway, juice is not for adults—it’s for children, and it may as well come in a box with a straw. So… this Waterloo “Grape” flavored sparking water is excellent. It has no sugar, no sweetener—yet you almost feel like it does, because the grape flavor is so very grape-y—which you associate sweetness. It’s a little bit of a fake-out, a swindle, a weirdness—but then you get used to it, like snow in August, and ultimately it’s a very, very nice sparking water. A week or so later, I’m trying another one, and I realize that the smell—of a fresh, bubbly glass—is exactly that of wine. This could be a slippery slope—if you’re susceptible to such things—or just really kind of exciting.
8.9.22