Sparkling Water Intro

I started writing these Sparkling Water Reviews on my dessert page (called “Pie”) in 2022 after I quit eating, for the most part, all sugar, or at least anything with added processed sugar. I even cut way back on natural sugar, and fruit, due to my digestion. I said back then: “But, since I can’t eat jack shit anymore—and if there literally was something called “jack shit,” I wouldn’t be able to eat that either—I’ve taken to finding subtle pleasures in subtle flavors.” Of course, since then, I’ve become quite fond of Jack Shit. Just kidding. What I didn’t expect is to end up writing about so many sparkling waters! I haven’t exhausted them all, yet, either, but I have also included “Hop Water”—which is a new obsession of mine, and in the future, I might also focus more on the subtle pleasures of still water. I ended my original intro with a nice sentiment, so I’ll include that here: “So, starting now, this is the place for reviews of WATER. I know that might sound sad and pathetic to those who enjoy doughnuts, banana splits and ice cream sundaes, entire cakes and milkshakes, candy, liqueurs, fudge, drugs, and PIE—but, so, consider yourselves lucky! But don’t feel sorry for me. I still drink coffee.”

—Randy Russell 1.14.25