Maison Perrier – Ultimate

There was a time when if you didn’t want to drink sugary soft drinks, your choice was, then: Perrier or tap-water. There were more, of course—but that’s not far from it. Perrier had a kind of rich person stigma, and I guess it was relatively pricey. Like everything else, it’s been declining over the years—at some point bought by Nestlé—not necessarily a bad thing, but still. Now, of course, it’s just siphoned from Parisian toilets—and sometimes they forget to flush—those French! I’m just kidding—I think it still comes from the same spring—those springs last forever! But now—didn’t see this happen—but it seems like they’ve gone totally nuts and are going full-on into the fancy pants water and weird flavor revolution. They’re now “Maison Perrier”—is that rebranding or just moving up the alphabet? I tried to make sense of what’s on their website, but it almost gave me a seizure, so I figure I’ll just wait and see what shows up in the store. This one is called “Ultimate”—and why not. It’s sparkling water—not super minerally, but some, and I have to say, very delicious! It’s in one of those tall skinny cans – but not quite 12 oz – it’s 330ml – which is 11.15 oz. Kind of a flat green and silver can, a real classy look. It’s got an “adult” look to it, so say, this might be your thing if you’re at an art opening and don’t want to look like Pablo McFruity with your La Croix Pomegranate Razz-Berry Jizz. Not something that ever bothers, me, personally—I’m like 86 years old—but for the young art-stars in progress, image is everything.

No. 131 – 12.3.25