The Ventures “The Ventures’ Christmas Album”

I over-use the word “jaunty,” I realize, and experiencing some concern that I’ve been using it incorrectly, I looked it up in my desktop, Random-Webster Dictionary and, wha-da-ya-know, under the definition (“sprightly in manner”—something no sane person would ever say) was a picture of this record! Believe it or else. And it’d have to be, to get these 12 Christmas classics down in under 27 minutes. Well, they do manage to make some songs sound like the soundtrack for a secret agent. I must admit, however, that I no longer have patience for X-mas tunes. I enjoy the holiday, except for being bludgeoned by increasingly pointless versions—did the Sex Pistols really need to reunite for another “All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)?” I’m at the point where the only Christmas song I love is the Vince Guaraldi Trio “Christmas Time is Here”—from A Charlie Brown Christmas, which we’ve been watching on TV since 1965 (same year this record came out)—at least until some slimeball, hiding behind “blame it on corporate greed,” made the decision to make people pay for it. How much money, really, do you need? Well… Anyway, the album cover shows Ventures Mosrite guitars, and drumsticks, in front of a wreath, and song titles, and the back manages to squeeze in images of 19 Ventures records. There are some oddball takes here, for sure. Sometimes they launch into a well-known pop song and then seamlessly slide into the X-mas classic. The ghostly “Scrooge” would fit better on a Halloween collection. My favorites are when they slow it down a little: “White Christmas,” a beautiful “Blue Christmas,” and a truly inspired, country version of “Silver Bells” that bends some notes so far, the cat could reach them. Those happen to be the only songs on the record (along with “Rudolph”) with colors in the titles—I don’t know if that means anything.

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