Dr Pepper “A Slice of Lemon”

Times may be weird, with grifters and clowns runnin’ the show—but grifters and clowns always been runnin’ the show—and I like to argue that as weird as times are, they were even weirder in 1966. Unfortunately, I was only six years old at the time and didn’t have the perspective at that age to appreciate it. It just seemed normal to me. Likewise, for a kid growing up now, to see every single person staring at a small rectangular device at all times—simply seems normal. God help us.

Anyway, here’s a slice of 1966 weirdness, brought to you by Dr Pepper, “The soft drink Ray Speen would drink, if he drank that shit.” (Unpaid plug—as is, every seven years when I go down the Dr Pepper ingredients rabbit-hole.) Instead of “Various” or “Columba Special Products,” I’m calling Dr Pepper the artist here, since they put up good money for this time capsule, and it doesn’t even say “Dr Pepper” anywhere on the front, back, or side cover, or the label! You would never know, if it weren’t for the intro track, by Dick Clark. The cover just confused me, because it says the title in big black letters, but there’s a very-light-yellow sliced lemon instead of the “o” so it ends up looking like: A SLICE OF LEM (followed by an N). LEM, in the late-Sixties, meant “Lunar Excursion Module.” Also, someone wrote their name on the cover, and their name was “Pumpkin.” After all that, I barely noticed the photo of three, young, blonde people (2 gals, 1 dude) in ski resort casual wear, in front of a fire, all with lascivious grins, and drinking a brown beverage in glass mugs—I assumed it was Keoke Coffee. There are liner notes on the back cover but it looks like someone threw up on it and cleaned it too vigorously (not vigorously enough), so I can’t read most of it—but it appears to be inane ad copy about each of the ten artists and songs.

The first time I listened to this record (without looking to see who was on it) I thought it must be the case that someone had slipped the wrong record in the cover—that’s how jarringly bizarre the whole thing comes off. Quiz question for later: which one of the musical artists represented here did I, at one time, see live? Anyway, the track that makes the most sense is the intro, by Dick Clark, where he tells us it’s specially produced for Dr Pepper during ski season, and then tells us how to make HOT Dr Pepper: pour some in a saucepan and heat it, then pour it over a slice of lemon. It sounds good, actually, but I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. What we did do in 1966, though, was pour Vernors Ginger Ale in a glass over half & half—delicious!

Even though the local AM radio played a pretty bizarre selection of shit in 1966 (our station, in Sandusky, Ohio, was WLEC), I’m not sure it was ever this all-over-the-place. But maybe it was, and I just blocked out half of it. Anyway, this was in the air. What follows then are songs by The Dave Clark Five, then The Brothers Four (at this point, you’re wondering if they are trying to connect each track by some linguistic device)—and it’s got to be the worst of all the lame versions of “Mr. Tambourine Man” out there. Next, a Percy Faith orchestral version of “Yesterday”—which is the only Beatles song I ever played, and the only song I ever learned, as a teen, to play on the piano with both left and right hand parts (which now is simply a sad reminder of me failing at piano). The New Christy Minstrels sing “Downtown,” always a great song, and then Tony Bennett gives us “The Good Life.”

Side 2 delves into jazz—The Dave Brubeck Quartet with “Little Girl Blue,” not bad. Then we have Andre Previn doing “Bluesette”—another attempt at a connection? Doris Day belts out “Fly Me to the Moon”—and so the only logical song to follow that is Bob Dylan belting out “Maggie’s Farm.” Why not. Ha! Why not. You really have to wonder if Dylan has this record in his collection. He must. Now I’m curious if he talks about it in that new book of his. Simon and Garfunkel singing “Leaves That Are Green” is a bit of a letdown, but at least, then, you’re okay to drive. And so… I hope you enjoyed this fitting intro to Farraginous February 2023—hard to believe it’s only 57 years later! The answer to the quiz question is: Tony Bennett.

2.1.23