Friday, November 11, 1977
/And aspirins, not to mention caffeine. I will drink three cups of coffee a day along with a quart of Coke and three packs of cigarettes. At the age of 65, I will retire with honor after working my way up to assistant feature editor. After getting a divorce with my wife, so now free, I can go on world travels. I will have a nervous breakdown and spend the last five years of my life in failing health at the Erie Inn reading dirty books and embarrassing nurses with my filthy remarks. When I die at age 70, my ex-wife will get all my life savings which I was someday going to by a Porsche with. In Oakland Cemetery, I will have my simple gravestone pissed on regularly by a scroungy old mutt.