“Morph the Cat”—first song on Morph the Cat (Donald Fagen) (2006)

I’m including both the song, “Morph the Cat,” the first song on the 2006 album, Morph the Cat, as well as “Morph the Cat (Reprise),” the last song on the album—though they should never be played end to end—but always played with the seven songs on the album between them, played between them. The song starts out as a pleasant, somewhat funky groove—exactly as I’d imagine a musical attempt to capture the unique and mysterious movements of a cat. By the end of both the song and reprise, there are enough horn and guitar explorations to justify the “Morph” part of the title. There are a couple of horns sounding like they’re each taking their own way around, and a guitar solo that sounds like pure maple syrup poured over shaved ice. As a whole, it’s both soothing and intellectually stimulating, as well as disturbing, trance-inducing, and even—if you allow your imagination to run free—anxiety producing. The other thing that came to my mind is that this could the theme song of a TV show called “Morph the Cat”—well, at least from an era where theme songs were extraordinary.

The oddball lyrics reinforce all of this—first with a vision of a giant cat floating above Manhattan, and then lines like, “He oozes down the heating duct,” and “It’s kind of like an Arctic mind bath.” My very favorite verse of all goes: “Like you heard an Arlen tune / or bought yourself a crazy hat / like you had a mango cooler / Morph the Cat.”

The song makes me think of many more things. One is that story I’ve heard—I don’t know if there’s any truth to it—about something in cat poop or pee that affects the human brain and renders you their humble servant. I don’t know about that—it might have been from one of those racy Batman and Catwoman romance episodes (in the Sixties, with Julie Newmar). I prefer the more practical theory that cats can hypnotize you with their purring and affection. Also, I can’t help thinking about 9/11, of course, which leads me to think about the floats in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade—how truly creepy they are. Which also makes me think of the “Airborne Toxic Event” in Don DeLillo’s 1985 novel, White Noise. Which leads me to thinking about the song “Drugs,” from Talking Heads 1979 album, Fear of Music. Which leads me to thinking of Jonathan Lethem’s 2009 novel, Chronic City—and some of the more disturbing and fun stuff from that book—for which this song could work as a theme song. I would love to see all of the above collaborating on a TV show, or limited series, called Morph the Cat. I’d watch that show. No, I wouldn’t, actually. I prefer to keep it here.

—Randy Russell 6.5.22