July 04, 2026

Tommy Bahama – Sea & Surf Bar Soap

July 04, 2026/ Randy Russell

“Tilapia of Soap”

This huge (10 oz.) bar of very white bar soap is more maximumly: “Tommy Bahama premium grooming Bar Soap for Men sea & surf Hair + Face + Body” and recommends you “simplify your routine with this multi-purpose bar soap”—meaning, I guess, you don’t need shampoo and body wash and all that nonsense—presuming, I suppose, you live on a boat and have a stall-size shower, and you’re just hurrying to get out on the water for sportfishing or whatever. But what are the ladies going to think, guys, when they see that all you have in the head besides that special boat-use TP is this one bar of soap? No shampoo? Weird. I suppose that would impress some people—me, for instance. But I just can’t take a brand called “Tommy Bahama” seriously—first of all, because it’s a dumb name, that someone (or group of geniuses) picked on purpose. They sell activewear and tall chairs and have restaurants—and I’m sure I’d enjoy eating their crusted drizzled bullshit. They even have their own rum! I admire that conviction. I’d love to hear that it’s a nice company to work for—that the bosses are mellow and everyone is treated fairly and with compassion. I got this soap cheap (TJ Maxx) —no doubt the BOX cost more than what I paid for it—it’s so sturdy, I have to find a use for it! I guess I’ll keep my drugs in it. I was hoping (seeing how it’s a MAN’S soap) for a bold, even obnoxious fragrance, as I’m a connoisseur of car salesman aftershave—yet, it hardly has any fragrance at all. It’s a perfectly nice soap, but subtlety and wimpiness is not what I signed up for here.

Soap Review No. 246

R SPEEN

ELSEWHERE on this website, please find:

NEWS

Home Page—notice of recent additions to this website. Occasionally, a link to somewhere else.

MEMO

This has been the home for various, infrequent weblogs or “blogs” (scroll way down—might be some interesting stuff). Currently (and more frequently), it’s a rundown of what’s going on now.

MEDIA

Individual pages for select books, movies, and articles, with links to take you there. Ongoing, and more soon.

MEMORABILIA

For now, consisting of three separate pages. SOCK MONKEYS: Images of favorite fiber-art sculptures/children's toys, most commonly resembling monkeys and often fashioned from old socks. PHOTOS: A few, random photographs, most of which spent time on the main page of this website before being replaced by something new. COLLAGE: Images of collages, made with paper and glue. Most of which are small, for sale, dusty, able to be dusted.

MEMOIR

Memoir is often a fictional account of personal experience, passed off as autobiography, but here it's used as a heading for the chronological pages that are home to my ongoing project of typing and posting my personal journals, usually written by hand, in notebooks. STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM SODA starts way back in 1972 (as always, the oldest entries are at the bottom of the page, and newly recorded ones at the top)—progressing through childhood, adolescence, and up to heavy drinking proprietor of a punk record store (in which I get some help from my friends). NOW IT CAN BE TOLD takes up the story in 1982, when things get serious, and will proceed (ideally) until 1996 in which NOTEBOOK JOURNALS commences, and will run until 2016, when the journey is taken up by NO MEMORY. The intention is to record notebook entries from that year until January 19, 2020, and the beginning of the final page: SEX DIARY (Sexagenarian Diary) (That's a joke.) (And the next memoir page, projected for the decade of the 2030s, will be titled “Deviated Septuagenarian.”) (God willing.) Please note: this is an ongoing project which depends on me living long enough to type and post the multitudes of journal entries. Half the time, I can't read my own handwriting, and there's very little chance that anyone else would have the interest or patience to take it up after my death.

LUNCH

PIE — Currently this is the place for the extent of my dessert intake, specifically; Sparking Water (I am on a quest to try them ALL). (In Older Posts: Memories, drinking, drugs, holidays, family, the forbidden, pipe tobacco, doughnuts, cupcakes, macaroons, tapioca pudding, mung bean and coconut milk, ice cream, incense, croquembouche, cookies, candy, pie, Sahara, strudel, Jello, flan, cannoli, fank, custard, halva, schweddy balls, rice pudding, schaum torte, and more!)

TACO — Near perfect concepts, far-ranging ideas, everyday breakfasts, favorite foods, local destinations, ongoing adventures, tacos…

COFFEE — Cafe, coffeehouse, espresso bar, cat cafe, tearoom, coffee shop, on and on…

DINER — Family restaurant, cafe, greasy spoon, hash-house, lunch counter, blue plate, cafeteria, luncheonette, diners, etc.

LISTS

READING is a reading list of books that I’ve heard about, read about, that have been recommended to me, and/or books that I’ve found, borrowed, or bought that I want to investigate to determine if I want to read—now, or in the very near future. BOOKS is where I post what I’m now calling “Book Reports”—as they are more akin to book reports from grade school than actual “reviews.” VINYL Now posting all review of vinyl records here, as well as my long-running blog: DJ FARRAGINOUS. STEELY DAN is the page where I write about individual songs by the band, Steely Dan, who may not be my favorite band of all time, but are definitely my favorite band to write about. MOVIES is the page for writing about movies. Currently, I’m trying to find, watch, and write about all existing Ella Raines movies. SOAP EXOTICA is reviews and musings on Bar Soap (over 100 varieties and counting!)—often overly extensive, and admittedly, somewhat insane. LISTZ-O-MANIA! is the new page for random lists and rankings. Currently there’s the revised ranking of James Bond movies, my 100 all-time favorite pop albums, and an ongoing ranking of Daniel Clowes books!

PODCAST

This is the home page for “The Randy Russell Podcast” in which RR talks to a guest for an hour or so. Each episode might have a rough theme, but overall there is no real focus (except for, naturally, the guest, and RR). You can listen directly from this page, or download the podcasts from Apple Podcasts and the Stitcher app.

CONTACT

On this page there are BIOS of contributors to this website, as well as contact information. (Though, there is no guarantee the contact information is valid. If you want, or need, to send an email regarding any of the contributors here, or anything on this website, please write to this address: RandySRussell at Gmail dot com (addressed in, you know, email form. Sorry, no hyperlink here). Please make sure to spell the name RandySRussell correctly. If you don't include the middle initial “S”—or spell the last name with two S's and two L's, your email will not reach who it's intended for. It's rough. But also, if you'd like to correspond that old-fashioned way, with paper, stamp, and envelope, first send an email, and if you can convince me you're a person, and not a bill collector, I will trade addresses, and communication can happen not unlike it's 1999.

FINALLY

If you've read this far, Thank You for reading!