Royal Pine Toilet Soap – Hotel Bar Soap

“Camping Trip 1974”

Coming up with these dumb little “taglines” or “subtitles” (above, in quotes) is sometimes the hang-up of these soap reviews—they have to be short and not totally off—otherwise, I can blather on and on. So, when one pops in my head, like this one, as soon as I opened the soap, I respect it. Even if I have no idea what it means. This little motel soap comes in a simple white wrapper with the name in an ancient font (looks hand printed) and coat-of-arms-looking logo with a crown and pine tree—all in green. The only other print is “Iowa Soap Company, Burlington, IA”—which my limit on searching turned up nothing. The little green bar has “Royal Pine” engraved in cursive. It looks like it could be older than me, easily, but still smells, I’m guessing, like it did when you opened it in whatever motorcourt motel you drove up to, hot running water, etc. I drank tea made from pine needles on a camping trip, slept in bed of soft pine. But the soap probably reminds me more of driving to Florida, or across country—those motels. It doesn’t really smell like pine (and certainly nothing like those nasty car air-fresheners, which came later) but like a motor hotel shower after a long day driving with low water pressure and a tiny scratchy towel and hard but clean sheets and your best sleep ever.

Soap Review No. 197