Hoplark Sparkling HopTea – the Mile-High-Biscus One

It took me awhile to get to this one, for some reason—I suppose subconsciously I was reminded of that candied hibiscus flower I once had a bag of until it turned on me (I turned on it), which I believe I wrote about somewhere else (trying hard not to be that guy who’s always repeating himself)! I probably wrote about Red Zinger tea at that time, too—how I never see it out there anymore, it seems—yet it still exists. This hopwater is indeed bright red from the hibiscus, and it’s got a bit of a head—which is pink—pretty cute. It might be the Barbie drink of choice (Summer 2023), except it really is red, so it might be more Satanic than Barbie. (Or… Satanic Barbie? It’s only a matter of time.) And it tastes both like hops and hibiscus, which I don’t believe is a combination I’ve ever encountered before. Interesting. Definitely refreshing, but also a little weird. The can says: “Tart, refreshing, and oh so crushable.” And some more nonsense about the altitude in Boulder—they’re funny. The ingredients are organic hibiscus petals along with cashmere and lemondrop hops. I have not yet knowingly encountered cashmere hops, but I like the name. The hop-meter shows “wee bit”—I suppose to balance with the hibiscus—and it is a good balance—but seeing how I’m a reborn hophead, I want more hops! Generally. The 16 ounce can is their usual bold style, this one in flat black and bright red—the colors of my high school sports team, “The Perkins Pirates”—so I can’t help thinking pirate when I see those colors, and this may very well be a fine drink for a fictionalized, romanticized, relatively benevolent, Disneyfied Johnny Depp pirate.

7.9.24