Klarbrunn – Citrus Blend

This one is not great. Kind of exactly what you’d expect from that lame handle: “Citrus Blend.” Ha! It sounds like something that might be your only choice besides tapwater at the Mediocre Cafeteria in Halfass Town. Trying it again… with a fresh perspective! It’s still blah. Almost a little off-putting. There is a strong suggestive element with these waters. What if the same water was called: Dangyuja Burst? It might make it taste better. But as it is, it reminds me of one of those too large, pithy, flavorless oranges that give oranges a bad name. Whenever you can’t specify the flavor (like “Mixed Fruit” jelly) it implies the desperation to use up an inferior product. Naturally, I don’t know how that applies to a water. Anyway, I’m a big fan of this company and their excellent can design, but this flavor’s can is even kind of blah—the three overlapping teardrops are orange, a very slightly less orangey orange, and a slightly lighter shade of orange. They could have called it “Orange You Thirsty?”—or something.

3.21.24