Jelly Belly – French Vanilla

The second version of the Jelly Belly sparkling water I’ve tried—it’s in a white can with gold trim and logo and an image of a vanilla bean and flower—so it promises an elegant (inasmuch as you can think elegant and jellybean at the same time) and lushly rich sparkling water experience. It’s immediately off-putting. Not my favorite vanilla flavor, this one. Not totally gross—but kind of. It occurs to me—maybe it’s the “French” in the French Vanilla—what does that even mean? I consult the big brain. In ice cream, it’s a richer version, with egg yolk doing the job—so it’s essentially a vanilla custard—and some contains hazelnut, caramel, and butterscotch—so more flavor, richer, disgusting. I’ve often assumed that a certain vanilla fragrance that nauseates me is a cheap, artificial vanilla, like in candles and air fresheners. But I wonder if that vanilla is replicating French Vanilla—maybe that is what I smell, taste—sometimes—and am grossed out by. Well, either way, I hate to say it, but… this tastes like that.

10.28.22