September 22, 2025

October 26, 1982 – AM

September 22, 2025/ Randy Russell

Sorry—I DOZED OFF. Well, it is always wonderful to talk to Nancy when we get along and have a great conversation like we do sometimes and did last night. More exciting than My Dinner with Andre, when you’re involved, and I think our conversion would make a great movie, anyway. Anyway, I think we came closer to resolving anything than ever, though I don’t know. I just think I am closer to accepting things as they are, and that includes myself and how I am. I’m sure I’m more together than a vast majority of the people in the world. I realize I’ve got a good and lucky life and an exciting and optimistic future, so I should be happy. I wish I could stay with Nancy, and her with me, but I realize I probably wouldn’t give her the freedom she (or anybody) should have. It’s really awful knowing that about yourself, but I must be honest and not selfish. I should just get used to being alone. I can still have many wonderful friendships and do—and to get married and take away any of that from each other would be awful. I really think for once I understand, and she is right, and though no one knows how things will work out, right now we know what we must do. I am really optimistic. I really believe that we will keep in touch. That is so important to me. We will. It will be interesting as hell, too. So now I think I’ve accepted it but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’m sure I’ll still have relapses. Gimme another drink!

On the exciting side, though sad, too, I’m really considering going to San Diego because Jim would like to get an apartment, but he would be overseas much. So there is leaving Nancy, and even after all this, I don’t know if I could. I think I would only go if I could get a friend or more to go, Money and loneliness. Someone I could cry to. Oh well, I’ll try not to worry/think about this too much now. Who knows what could happen. Nancy may get another job and movie out of town by then. Hey, maybe she’ll get a job in California. Ha. You asshole, Randy! Boy, gimme another drink!

R SPEEN

ELSEWHERE on this website, please find:

NEWS

Home Page—notice of recent additions to this website. Occasionally, a link to somewhere else.

MEMO

This has been the home for various, infrequent weblogs or “blogs” (scroll way down—might be some interesting stuff). Currently (and more frequently), it’s a rundown of what’s going on now.

MEDIA

Individual pages for select books, movies, and articles, with links to take you there. Ongoing, and more soon.

MEMORABILIA

For now, consisting of three separate pages. SOCK MONKEYS: Images of favorite fiber-art sculptures/children's toys, most commonly resembling monkeys and often fashioned from old socks. PHOTOS: A few, random photographs, most of which spent time on the main page of this website before being replaced by something new. COLLAGE: Images of collages, made with paper and glue. Most of which are small, for sale, dusty, able to be dusted.

MEMOIR

Memoir is often a fictional account of personal experience, passed off as autobiography, but here it's used as a heading for the chronological pages that are home to my ongoing project of typing and posting my personal journals, usually written by hand, in notebooks. STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM SODA starts way back in 1972 (as always, the oldest entries are at the bottom of the page, and newly recorded ones at the top)—progressing through childhood, adolescence, and up to heavy drinking proprietor of a punk record store (in which I get some help from my friends). NOW IT CAN BE TOLD takes up the story in 1982, when things get serious, and will proceed (ideally) until 1996 in which NOTEBOOK JOURNALS commences, and will run until 2016, when the journey is taken up by NO MEMORY. The intention is to record notebook entries from that year until January 19, 2020, and the beginning of the final page: SEX DIARY (Sexagenarian Diary) (That's a joke.) (And the next memoir page, projected for the decade of the 2030s, will be titled “Deviated Septuagenarian.”) (God willing.) Please note: this is an ongoing project which depends on me living long enough to type and post the multitudes of journal entries. Half the time, I can't read my own handwriting, and there's very little chance that anyone else would have the interest or patience to take it up after my death.

LUNCH

PIE — Currently this is the place for the extent of my dessert intake, specifically; Sparking Water (I am on a quest to try them ALL). (In Older Posts: Memories, drinking, drugs, holidays, family, the forbidden, pipe tobacco, doughnuts, cupcakes, macaroons, tapioca pudding, mung bean and coconut milk, ice cream, incense, croquembouche, cookies, candy, pie, Sahara, strudel, Jello, flan, cannoli, fank, custard, halva, schweddy balls, rice pudding, schaum torte, and more!)

TACO — Near perfect concepts, far-ranging ideas, everyday breakfasts, favorite foods, local destinations, ongoing adventures, tacos…

COFFEE — Cafe, coffeehouse, espresso bar, cat cafe, tearoom, coffee shop, on and on…

DINER — Family restaurant, cafe, greasy spoon, hash-house, lunch counter, blue plate, cafeteria, luncheonette, diners, etc.

LISTS

READING is a reading list of books that I’ve heard about, read about, that have been recommended to me, and/or books that I’ve found, borrowed, or bought that I want to investigate to determine if I want to read—now, or in the very near future. BOOKS is where I post what I’m now calling “Book Reports”—as they are more akin to book reports from grade school than actual “reviews.” VINYL Now posting all review of vinyl records here, as well as my long-running blog: DJ FARRAGINOUS. STEELY DAN is the page where I write about individual songs by the band, Steely Dan, who may not be my favorite band of all time, but are definitely my favorite band to write about. MOVIES is the page for writing about movies. Currently, I’m trying to find, watch, and write about all existing Ella Raines movies. SOAP EXOTICA is reviews and musings on Bar Soap (over 100 varieties and counting!)—often overly extensive, and admittedly, somewhat insane. LISTZ-O-MANIA! is the new page for random lists and rankings. Currently there’s the revised ranking of James Bond movies, my 100 all-time favorite pop albums, and an ongoing ranking of Daniel Clowes books!

PODCAST

This is the home page for “The Randy Russell Podcast” in which RR talks to a guest for an hour or so. Each episode might have a rough theme, but overall there is no real focus (except for, naturally, the guest, and RR). You can listen directly from this page, or download the podcasts from Apple Podcasts and the Stitcher app.

CONTACT

On this page there are BIOS of contributors to this website, as well as contact information. (Though, there is no guarantee the contact information is valid. If you want, or need, to send an email regarding any of the contributors here, or anything on this website, please write to this address: RandySRussell at Gmail dot com (addressed in, you know, email form. Sorry, no hyperlink here). Please make sure to spell the name RandySRussell correctly. If you don't include the middle initial “S”—or spell the last name with two S's and two L's, your email will not reach who it's intended for. It's rough. But also, if you'd like to correspond that old-fashioned way, with paper, stamp, and envelope, first send an email, and if you can convince me you're a person, and not a bill collector, I will trade addresses, and communication can happen not unlike it's 1999.

FINALLY

If you've read this far, Thank You for reading!