Wednesday 18 November 1998

I’m at the Hurst for breakfast—could it be only Wednesday? Go on I have, but just a little further around the bend—perhaps off the deep end. The dreams alone I had last night were like equal to the entirety of time, all in one night. Dreams can do that—if there was ever anything in the waking world that interesting, repetitive, and tortuous—I had movie retake and continuity problem dreams—you would probably have to check yourself into somewhere for a long rest. Hell, I’m not even making a movie—Heather is—I’m not really even really helping except for psychically—but I guess that’s a lot, but not something I can put on my resume. More of the good things in life can you put on your resume, like my intense appreciation of this album playing, Neil Young’s Everybody Knows This is Nowhere. It’s good to make a note of who’s working and what music they play. Lately, I couldn’t be happier. This place has gone from a place I’ve liked and appreciated to the dream breakfast location. But not dream—like the dreams I had last night. The fact that we use that word in so many ways—I love the word dream! It’s so abused, too—but it holds up I guess because it refers directly to one of the most mysterious things in our life. I woke up from my endless film retake and continuity dreams (before going back to sleep to continue them) with a poem in my brain—I was, like, working on this poem through the process of waking up! I won’t put it here because it rhymes, and you know, it’s pretty bad, as a poem, but I did write it down in my dream notebook—along with the dream it came out of. I guess this was a departure from the film dream—it was a highly emotional, politically charged drama with some very strange symbols (a brown pillowcase with eyeholes cut into it)—really, I can’t go into this. I don’t understand it. I don’t know if all this crazy shit is a reprieve from my obsessive falling in love life, if it is, I don’t know—I think I’d rather have dreams about girls. That almost never happens, and when it does, it’s almost too intense to go on with the day.