Oceans 10: The Titanic (2023)

Spoiler Alert! A retelling of the Titanic saga—in which the ship doesn’t sink! The film’s tone gradually moves from impending tragedy to comedy as the repeated motif (and tagline) “Is it sinking yet?” repeats ad nauseum—until, in the final act, it takes on new meaning: “Is the film sinking?—is the disaster we are witnessing this piece of dubious entertainment, itself?” But it’s not that simple. We are in contemporary times, and the Cunard ship lines introduces their most fabulous ship yet—an exact replica of the infamous Titanic (though with a gym and wi-fi.) The primary plot follows a rag-tag band of “master” criminals assembled to pull off the impossible—the heist of a mob-run casino on a luxury liner in its maiden voyage during the filming of a Hollywood epic (identical to the movie we are watching) as well as being followed by a documentary crew. The thieves are led by Donny Ocean (adopted grandson of Danny Ocean, and token straight white cisgender male of the “Ten”) who is employed as onboard lounge singer. The other nine “specialists” have landed gigs as: bartender, gym trainer, hull-damage specialist, meteorologist, ship’s doctor, chaplain, head chef, astrologer/psychic, and house detective! It’s a talented, witty, and diverse group. The movie’s multitude of subplots involve other employees, and both well-heeled and stowaway passengers, all of whom are embroiled in dire life crises! By the time we reach the intermission (the 2-hour-45-minute mark of the 5-hour-plus running time), you’re thinking: put these pathetic jerks out of their collective misery—sink the fucker already! But that’s when the fireworks really start! Somali pirates, Russian submarines, a giant squid, a tidal wave, more romance than The Luv Boat, and yes, an iceberg. Is it sinking yet?