The Shark-Infested Custard

The Shark-Infested Custard by Charles Willeford (1993) Looking for the next Willeford to read, I noticed that this one was considered “to depressing to publish” when it was written—so it didn’t come out until after he passed away. How could I resist checking out a book with that reputation and that great title? It’s about four friends, young men, Larry, Eddie, Don, and Hank—regular guys with jobs (one ex-cop working in security, one ex-military now airline pilot, two in sales, one divorced, or maybe more…). They’re all bachelors, living in a “singles-only” apartment complex called the Dade Towers, in Miami, where they sit by the pool, drink heavily, and date “stewardesses,” as they used to be called. So, it’s very close to my idea for an album of songs about people at an apartment complex—and I’ve got so say, it cured me of that misguided notion. I wouldn’t be able to write anything either this good or this grim. I almost put the book down immediately, just as soon as they all crossed over an irrevocable stupidity line. But like Miami Blues, Willeford will have a character do something unbelievably bizarre and foolish, only later to explain why they did it—and you buy it! The guys shouldn’t be criminals, really, but they get in plenty of trouble from bad choices, and then even worse choices. It should be too depressing, certainly—but it’s weirdly compelling—I couldn’t stop reading—I guess partly to see what trainwreck is next (you’re assured more is coming—I guess it’s just good writing). The stories are told from multiple points of view—really, totally different episodes—progressing in time with large gaps—but all the parts inform each other. And it’s also, if nothing else, very, very funny. I shall not give away the ending, but it’s very 1970s!

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