The Harder I Fight the More I Love You: A Memoir

The Harder I Fight the More I Love You: A Memoir by Neko Case (2025) Neko Case is somewhat mysterious to me, based a few records I’ve heard, and another band she’s in (New Pornographers), and I’ve admired her, so I liked hearing her talk on a podcast (Marc Maron), a lot of which was about this book, an inspiring and harrowing memoir. I realize memoirs are a version of a person’s life, based on memory, but more important, the ability to interpret it in a way that connects with the audience. It’s a work of art, of course, and this is a good one. It pretty much goes chronologically, and then gets more into some ideas and philosophies at the end—which is a good approach, here, because of the hardships she endured early in life—some pretty unique dramas—that I’m not going to give away—same as if I was talking about a fictional story. In fact, if it was fictional, you might find it harder to believe. She grew up in the Pacific Northwest, where I lived for a while (I tried to figure if we might have crossed paths), and her depictions of some of those smaller, backwoods towns are harrowing—as well as her painting the generally haunted feeling of the entire region. I loved it there, and also, I didn’t—and I feel like she might feel the same—glad to get away? Will always miss it? A lot of heartbreak, but also, she met some good people, some of them musicians, and that’s a long road. All the stuff about playing music is interesting and inspirational, and the stuff about touring—which she grew to love—good stories. I think younger people who are interested in music—whether or not they are a fan of hers—could find this book important to them. And also, her musing on animals, and particularly horses, is really moving, to me, and I think would be to anyone with similar feelings and convictions. It’s pretty much at the core of this book.

10.16.25