Up in Lights

I have no problem with making New Year’s Resolutions—I do it every year, almost without thinking about it. It’s part of my new year, I love it. In fact, what I’ve taken to doing is commissioning local artisan neon-sign sign-makers to fashion each of my heartfelt promises to myself in glaring, nostalgic, red neon, which I then rent out space for on the side of apartment buildings along the three and a half block walk to my closest (since Victor’s closed) local pub, Monica’s (which is far, by Milwaukee standards). The signs might say: “Exercise more!” (ha), or “No more stress-eating Swiss cheese!” Okay, how ’bout: “Start telling the truth, for goodness sake.” Or, “Finish reading Against the Day.” Or, “Finish reading Monica!” (a particularly weird one, since, what’s my problem with that book? Because, you know, Clowes!) One thing they don’t say is: “Don’t Drink and Drive!”—because I haven’t owned (or stolen) a car in 25 years! Plus, sober since 1993.

So, I’ve got all the usual ones about breathing and stretching and not eating sugar, but a new one this year—not a resolution, exactly, but an idea—I thought I might try to use Substack in order to get in and be in touch with people more. Rather than, as is my habit, publishing writing on my website and never telling anyone about it. I’ve heard good things about Substack, so why not—I’ve found that you can read and read about a thing, but you can only really find out what it’s like by trying it. I don’t have any real hopes of making money, because I know myself—King Midas in reverse, as far as that goes. I’ve failed at every form of social media—why? Because I’m not social. It’s not that I’m antisocial… but I am. Also, I just don’t care. At any rate, I don’t feel like I need to make promises to “write more”—I’m already doing what I can—and it’s pretty much all I want to do. The idea, here, is that I’d like to push myself to reach out to people more. Okay, we’ll see.

I lied, above… I don’t look at the signs on my way to my local pub. That’s because I did not commission local artisan neon-sign sign-makers to render my resolutions. Even if I could afford such work, I’d probably ask for the signs to say something like: “Be Kind to Others,” or something I really believe in (these signs aren’t cheap), but we all know how much good that does. The other reason I don’t look at the nonexistent signs on the way to my local pub is because I don’t frequent my local pub. Monica’s does have (last I checked) a cute red neon sign that says, “Open”—yet, sadly (or, insert your own word here), I’ve never darkened Monica’s door.

—Randy Russell 1.5.25