Chapter 3 – Luminous Toxin

Applebee's Neighborhood Grill + Bar – 5664 N. Port Washington Road (Bayshore Town Center)

I was out shopping for work apparel with Sara and Mark and seeing how I wear a uniform where I work I was trying to convince them to humor me and get tacos—but since we were at Bayshore Town Center on foot, I suggested the “south of the border” options at Applebee's (full name and address above—certainly the longest name and address of anyplace I've ever eaten). Not surprisingly, the only tacos on the menu used flour tortillas (more of my thoughts on flour tortillas later—right now I'm in too good of a mood), so I defaulted to the “Neighborhood Nachos” with chicken. You can't really mess up a plate of nachos, and these were delicious, but what's with the Neighborhood thing? I guess this all was appropriate seeing how Bayshore Town Center is a fake small town (it's actually a mall) and Applebee's is not really a neighborhood grill, it's a chain restaurant—but at least, when it comes down to it, the food was real, and the people working here were real, and the customers, on this evening, as I looked around, all seemed very, very happy. Almost too happy, like they were drinking the Kool-Aid. But sometimes the celestial bodies, humidity, and sports seasons align, and viola! Or... could it have been the odd blue drinks I saw at almost every table? Which I soon discovered where called: “$1 Adios – Our Take On A Blue Long Island Iced Tea.” A'bee's press will tell you, this version of the teen-drinking favorite is indeed $1 and consists of five types of liquor (one of which, blue curacao, is blue), as well as a trademarked soft drink, and an adjective (sweet & sour). And is also known as the Blue Motorcycle. What they don't tell you is that it's also known as the Adios Motherfucker. What it reminded me of was a blue drink I used to make called “Luminous Toxin”—which was named after the drink the guy ingested in the movie D.O.A. (1949)—which was a slow-acting poison. My drink wasn't actually poison—I'm still here—and I drank a few. But given the movie set superficiality of the whole setup, these drinks could also easily have been called “Luminous Toxin”—and now that I think of it, the drink poor Edmond O'Brien drank in D.O.A. may as well have been called the Adios Motherfucker.