11-19-80

Last Sunday we went to Sally and David's wedding. John Erich lit the eight candles up front while everyone watched. He had a long, weird, metal thing with a flame at the end to light the high up candles. He lit them all and turned around, but one was not fully lit and went out, though he didn't see it and had started walking back down the aisle. A guy stopped him and whispered to him that the one candle needed to be relit. But when J.E. turned around, the candle magically relit by itself! Was it God? Does J.E. have special powers? Is he the Antichrist? Everyone laughed—it was funny.

Later...

Last night I had a weird dream: I was in a different environment and house and I woke up to find Nazis had taken over the country—there were some stationed in our house. They had become so powerful without anyone realizing it and took over. To have people in your house—with weapons—and they would sit down and play my drums and stuff—it was terrible. I thought: “I don't want to live a life in a place like this—I would rather die violently and take as many Nazis as I could with me.”

But then I started to think: “What good would it do to die? I could survive and be an artist or something and try to live as normally as possible.” Besides, I heard that Hahn had been arrested for murder at a drive-in theatre—and he would be sent to prison. What good would it do for me to end up like that? The prisons would probably be overcrowded and terrible. And after all, things seemed to be going along pretty normally—I saw pot smokers still going on with dope deals—just being a little more careful. And actually, the Nazis seemed like they were going to change things for the better in many ways. I still had freedom to walk on the streets, and they were going to find jobs for everyone.

But then, finally, I had a terrible thought. We, as a country, would be vulnerable to other countries—while we're in a revolution. The country would need strong military strength, and I could just see it: Everyone in the country would be drafted—marching in the Nazi uniforms—maybe even starting wars. What would I do? Maybe try to escape the country?