LUX - Fresh Splash

“Well-Dressed Man”

My first attempt at writing about soap sounds more like ad copy than a review, but it's pretty funny, I think, so I'll include it here: “Tired of smelling like the beauty aisle at Whole Foods? I have taken to buying soap from my neighborhood Indian restaurant, as they carry many beguiling brands. My recent favorite is LUX “Fresh Splash” which makes my bathroom smell like there is a well-dressed man of indefinite foreign origin hiding in there. Am I in danger? Only in danger of smelling good!”

The bar is a deep blue green, kind of shiny, almost metallic, with LUX engraved. I like the name because it reminds me of Lux Interior, my favorite-ever rock star. The packaging includes a drawing of a beautiful woman, the LUX logo in gold, and it says: “With Cooling Mint & Sea Minerals”—though it doesn't strike me as particularly minty or fishy. (The ingredients do include Sea Salt and Mentha Piperita Leaf Extract.) The overall scent evokes masculinity to me, so maybe the woman on the packaging is who you're supposed to attract.

On the side of the package it says: “Be a breath of fresh air.” Which is nice. And Gold Ring Offer** with two stars, indicating that it's explained somewhere, I guess, but where? The ingredient list is long, in small print, and kind of scary, including some that are just letters and numbers, and some very chemical-y, way too long to type, and also some very cool sounding flower and plant names like, Camellia Sinensis Leaf Extract, and Avena Sativa Straw Extract—there's a lot of plant stuff, actually. But then some scary things like Tin Dioxide and Titanium Dioxide. And then, in even smaller print I see the explanation of the two stars: **“May contain a small gold ring. Be careful while using the soap. Don't wash the gold ring away. Offer valid till stocks last.” What? You mean there might actually be a gold ring concealed inside my soap? I wish I'd seen this earlier—I may have already washed the gold ring away!

Update: It has been some time since I finished this bar of soap, and I never did find the gold ring. But just recently my bathtub drain clogged, which has never happened before (causing it to flood the apartment below!) I couldn't help wondering if the reason for this was the gold ring I accidentally washed down the drain?!