“FRIENDS” Marshmello & Anne-Marie

The best way to pick a random song, if I'm not in the “field,” is to look at my “Shazam” app to reveal the most recent song it detected—indicating either a song I really liked or didn't like or was just curious about. In this case it's “FRIENDS” (all caps), by someone named Marshmello & Anne-Marie, and I'm assuming Marshmello spells his/her name like that as a kind of play on “mellow"—as in “chill”—rather than the confection that is often toasted over an open flame—though the most cursory glance at the internet to locate proper spelling shows me images of a person with a white cylindrical head—which curiously does resemble the Kraft variety—performing some computer generated music. The singer, apparently, is named Anne-Marie, a woman who manages to sound black, Hispanic, white, etc. as well as nightclub, strip bar, church, and Saturday morning cartoon. The crossover potential is immense. This is also the song that uses a spinning ratchet wrench as percussion, in place of one of those ridged, wooden fish. It may not be the only one, but if there are too many, I imagine them all accusing each other of stealing the innovation. This song seems to be sung from the point of view of the woman—with a great deal of both plain-spokenness and sex-appeal. She's insisting to an unknown third party that they are merely friends, and any overtures to the contrary are highly inappropriate. She repeats this in every way possible for five minutes until they finally have sex at the end of the song. Some joke. Though I do admire the spirit, and I was even inspired to imagine a movie, mini-series, or TV show about the same subject, with the running joke that a survival skill instinct to be “picked up” next season is the only thing preventing these beautiful, sexy, and caffeinated people from conceding to a flat-out orgy.