Garbage Memo – October 8, 1981 – Dag Nabbit

WELL, FUSK, I MEAN FUCK; HERE'S ANOTHER PAGE..... TAKE IT. Shit, I be typing. Two number 7's does the trick on an empty stomach. We be doin dem SHELVES and what not... waiten for the man from Columbo and see the immortal HOLY ERASER HEAD, no doubt...? Whoop! Buy my records, Mister Person, for I am wretched and poor and hungry and am in great need of BEER. NO, NO, DON'T look at the magazines, I get nothing from them whatsoever! Shit, at least it was a Boredom rag and a NME, fuck... no taste. SHIT YEAH GO SEE FUCKIN SNAKEFINGER! Shit he be trippin'..... $4.00 at the door and and all the shit you can possibly swallow. YOU MUST HAVE AN AWARENESS OF WHAT AND WHO IS GOING ON; YOU KNOW. If I was there, I would definitely be out of my mind. Yoo? Ahss-hoe! Too much open space in the store. How can you expect to DRAW with all this space... makes it look like a goddamn orphanage! SO here's Frank from BOW WOW or Nakefingle or some damn thang. Got nothin happening, jus checkin' the place out... woof woof... Johnnie CHRIST just showed up. Brought some clothes over that I wouldn't nail to a DOG.... Yes, Smile, Johnni.... TELEVISION on the damn rockabilly tape machine... Phone rings and Randy's pounding NAILS! Tom wants to talk to Columbo person TACK TACK TACK TACK.... OK fuck, Tom we see you at the fucking FILMWORKS. BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! Shit, Christ? What danse Hall Girl you talkin' aboot? Shit. Use her for cooking grease. Johnny Phlegm interview would be good.... here goes---- J.C. - Tell us Johnnie, how do you feel about your treatment at The Bank? J.P. - XXXXXXXXX XXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXX!!! J.C. - Of course. Now, what do you think is the real cause of the problem? J.P. - XZXZXZXZXZXZXZ XZXZXZXZXZQ XZ$Z%X%Q%%Z$#$%Z%Z!!! J.C. - Uh, yes John, that will about do it.... J.P. - &$&#%$XX!! J.C. - Thank you Johnnie Phlegm. I FUCKING HATE DEVO!! DO YOU UNNERSTAN'? Yes, well, but you know, YOU MUST PLAY WHAT THE people WANT TO HEAR!! AAAAAAAH AAAAAAAHHHH!!! LIVE AT CBGB's IT'S TUFF DARTS! OH MY LIVING GOD. WHAT KIND OF TAPE IS THIS? Sounds pretty much like the album... real shame. Fuck; give me a Beer! YACHT CLUB! YACHT! ACH! CLUB! YACHT CLUB! YACHT CLUB! AAAIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! EREASURHEAD! JUST GOT BACK! FUCK! HELL REAL GOOD! CHICK NEXT TO ME SAYS, “ESXUSEMUAH?” (French, from PARIS, FRANCE!) and I say, “Eat me,” “I am OBNOXIOUS.” That's OK and she gives me a beer. A Busch, no doubt. “I need both armrests, Damn it!” That's OK too... Good chick, where is she now? Who cares? Am I not a fucck-ed person and drunk as well? Give me some more COLONEL LEE BOURBON! I must be drunken, do doubt. FUCK. JUST GOT BACK FROM J.B.s and I'm real drunk; Rolling Stone was takin' pictures, big DEAL... lost half my glasses.... Eat me! Kenny and the KASUALS rippin' up the speakers... I'm so drunk I can't believe it, SHIT, I be TRIPPIN'... let's eat some potatoe soup and shit on the floor... I DO NOT CARE ABOUT ANY DAMN THING! All day and all of the night! Bounce! Bounce! Fuck. Tom, are you full of the SHIT or what? I be DRUNK! 8 BALLS are OK, but HELL; we be doin' the SEDAT; all fucked and falling all over the floor with some shit says he's from ROLLING STONE taking pictures trying to get laid by some male or female, who knows? I'm bored. Tom, you mother fucker, why do you fuck with me so when I'm drunk? SHIT! I'm only trying to do my fucking JOB!