Tuesday, December 20, 1977

When Uncle Oompah was in high school, he was a craaazy guy. He was in Chemistry II class, and was kind of pissed because they didn't do any experiments. So one day UO mildly poisoned the teacher's coffee, so he was sick the next day and there was a substitute. UO went crazy with his knowledge of chemistry and through a series of experiments, created about 5 gallons of sulfuric acid, and 15 bricks of sodium. He also bottled quite a bit of hydrogen gas, all of which he was going to take home and blow up. But the substitute came back into the room at the wrong moment, and in his haste to escape, he dropped everything at once and knocked over the 5 gallon tank of H2O which reacted with the the Na bricks rather strongly. UO, having fast reflexes, jumped through the window. The whole room exploded and everyone was killed, but UO got away and went into hiding, and since there were no remains of the bodies, UO was thought to be dead, too.